Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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