please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
