My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
