Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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