he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
