No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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