i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
