You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
