Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
