just come out here and I will go home with you...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
