You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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