I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
