i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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