I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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