Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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