I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
