i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
