Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
