she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
