Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
love makes seman taste better
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
