you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
