didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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