Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
