How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
