You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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