So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
