Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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