What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Pooping to opera.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
