The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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