She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
