so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
