spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
