got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
