There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
