I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
