Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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