i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
