Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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