I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
