he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
