can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
