Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
