I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
