I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Cover your peen. We're going out.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
