I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
