we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
