just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
