hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
