New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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