I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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