Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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